Thursday, April 15, 2010

Personal attacks over a book review. How utterly ridiculous.

Today I finished my book, The Stoning of Soraya M, and as is my usual practice, I went to see what other readers of the book thought. My big mistake was starting with the Amazon reviews of this book (actually, I was so disgusted I didn't look at others and turned off my computer for the day).I won't go into specifics, but I looked at several reviews where people's comments were just downright nasty. Beyond nasty. Someone made a comment that said something about the fact that laws about stoning exist in Muslim scriptures, which was followed by someone else telling them they were stupid and knew nothing about Islam. Then that was followed by a lot of anti-Islamic rhetoric and things just heated up from there. Someone who tried to take a middle-of-the-road stance was blasted for being too far left politically.  It made me wonder if people like myself are a dying breed: people who really just like to read and want to sometimes share their opinions about the book itself in case anyone else was ever planning to read it (which is what I thought the purpose of book reviews were).  Why must anyone feel compelled to be downright nasty in responding to what someone says? It has almost scared me off even thinking about writing a review of this book anywhere, including here in my reading journal. I'm still thinking about whether or not to write it. Of course, here I have the option of filtering remarks, but it wouldn't stop them from coming in if someone didn't like what I had to say about this book.

It's like this pretty much anywhere where people can make comments or where people can speak their minds. They hide behind their anonymity and feel free to make ugly statements about anyone or anything. Don't get me wrong. People do have the right to say whatever they want. I object to the utter meanness and nastiness coming out, calling people names and getting in other people's faces when they disagree.  I mean, who ARE these people? Are they small-minded individuals whose voice doesn't really matter anywhere else so they have to put in their two cents worth in an anonymous forum? Or are they like this all of the time, unpleasant and venomous, not giving a crap about what anyone else thinks about them? Do they go to bed at night thinking "I showed him/her! Hah!" God help anyone who tries to make a point with this people. It's like watching the Jerry Springer show unfolding in a forum sometimes. There's no intelligent debate...it's a case of "my way or the highway," or "if I wanted your opinion I'd beat it out of you." And all of this over a book???????? It's just ridiculous.

12 comments:

  1. I have spent a lot of time, too much time, wondering what is going on in people's minds when something like this happens. The hate and idiocy is really hard to stomach especially when it is a book.

    At first, I wanted to just shut the PC down or not participate in the real life conversation at all, but then I realized something. What is that quote? "Evil prevails when good men do nothing." By staying silent and not rising to be heard to disagree, I feel like I am condoning the vile behavior. So now, I try to say something constructive, no matter how hard it is.

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  2. I share your frustration in every day life Nancy - I speak my mind, but believe that does not need to be done in a nasty or hurtful way. I live by the principle of do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Unfortunately I've come to the conclusion that some people have such low self-esteem that they 'think' it makes them feel better when they attack others - after the initial repulsion to this behaviour, I actually pity those people because they must deep down be so unhappy to act in that way, and they are missing out on the nice feeling one gets when one is simply nice to another person expecting no reward in return.

    PS: I bet that vent-post felt cathartic. I hope you eventually feel like posting a review on the book - I say ignore the nasties...

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  3. Thanks, both of you! You're both exactly right. And yes, that post was a bit cathartic. I'll give the Soraya review some more thought, definitely.

    thanks so much for caring enough to write.

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  4. Isn't this so sad? I have seen this on Amazon everytime I look up a book that is remotely related to politics or religion. Its sad to see "book lovers" behave this way. I agree that the anonymity of the internet brings out the worst in some- we will probably never realize this side of these people if we meet them in person..

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  5. There are a good number of blogs I read where the comments/forum sections just get bogged down in the type of mindlessly hateful stupidity you talk about. It's sad, really. I live in a country (China) where internet censorship is the norm and I would never advocate for it, as such. Still, it's such a shame that the potential for thoughtful discourse, whatever the subject may be, is drowned out by the idiocy of whatever blow-hard can shout the loudest. One of the reasons I started my blog was so that I could have a place to discuss books intelligently with other similarly inclined people. Having started mine up and looking around at other book blogs (like this one), it's nice to see that there are others out there who have similar feelings.
    Good post!

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  6. I joined GoodReads really early, about 3 years ago. That was my first experience with reviewing books, but the other people who first joined seemed to almost consider themselves refugees from Amazon. They told all kinds of horror stories like this about reviewing over there. They also talked about authors working the system to make sure that good reviews made their way to the top of the list and how there was really no support from Amazon when something like this happened to them. I took what they said to heart and refuse to review on Amazon or Shelfari (Owned by Amazon) and don't even look at the reviews. I know things like this happen elsewhere, but I know that at least on GoodReads they have very clear Terms Of Service and easy ways to flag comments and even block other members to give us as reviewers some kind of protection from this kind of behavior. We're kind of on our own on our blogs, but so far I haven't heard many reports of attacks like this happening. I think you should write your review and not worry about the rest of it. Your regular readers would probably never act like that and we would back you up if someone else decided to act like a jerk. Besides, I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that you can actually block people through blogger. It might not be much, but it's something. Just please don't let the jerks win, and they will if we let them affect our behavior.

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  7. Hi Nancy, I found the same thing you did and stopped reading Amazon reviews a few months ago because they could be so nasty. I don't think there is any need to criticise a book if you don't enjoy it, we all have different tastes.

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  8. I agree with you. Thankfully I've never really had that happen on any of my posts (I guess I'm just not controversial enough). I do think that people tend to say things anonymously that they would never say to someone's face. And of course being anonymous gives them that bravery that they wouldn't have otherwise. I'm sure others end up with that kind of "pack" or "herd" mentality. Saying things because others are saying it so it makes them feel free to say it too. Like the way riots start in crowds. Anyway, it doesn't make any of it excusable. I'm sure there are others that just love to incite people to nastiness. Saying awful things to get a reaction.

    I know if you go to a political news article from an major online paper you will see the same things in the comments. Sometimes I read the comments just to see how ridiculous people can be.

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  9. Thanks, Jennifer. I'm still thinking about it but after hearing what you all have to say, I'm a)glad I'm not the only one to feel this way, and b)more inclined to post the review than not.

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  10. Bookmole (what is your name, anyway? LOL), Pete, Alyce and Alaine: thanks for the comments. I guess I don't generally read books that cause that much controversy and bring out the worst in people. I'm not for internet censorship either, but I do wish people would think before they type!

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  11. Excellent post Nancy. It seems that nastiness and rudeness really come out behind the veil of anonymity. And really, what is the point? I hope you don't let others irresponsible remarks & behaviors keep you back from posting your quality reviews.

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  12. Thank you, Jeannie. I did end up writing the review, and hopefully left no openings for nastiness.

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Say what you will, but at least try to be nice about it.